Okay, so I'm really freaking about this whole teaching thing. I have met several people over the span of the three days I have been in Vigo and when telling them that I am teaching 12-18 year old kids they all smile and say "la edad de pavo." To which of course I asked, "eso es bueno o malo?" They all responded with a laugh so I'm going to assume bad. When I was abroad my third year, I was a teacher's assistant to a 10th grade English class, but I never actually taught. All I did was read directions aloud so they could get used to the American accent because the teacher had a, well, Spanish accent. (which kind of reminded me of this side note: my mom thought I was going to Spain to teach Spanish, can you just imagine those kid's coming out with really messed up accents because of me...mind you, they're also all fluent in their own language so her thought process doesn't even make sense--good one, ma). Anyways mid-July I went to the Spanish embassy to turn in my VISA application (which at the DC consulate is a lot easier than people think) and met a twenty something year old who was doing the same program I was in Madrid. She was so excited she pulled out her phone to show me her lesson plans. This was mid-summer-- Tomorrow is my first day, and I haven't even finished my lesson for tomorrow. I tried to one-up her (you know those friends, who always try to one-up you? Well that's never me. I just didn't want to look like a fool). So I started naming things I did when I was younger "Yeah I was thinking of doing something like uh Flat Stanley, remember him? hah and um for Thanksgiving, tracing their hand to make a turkey and writing what their thankful for inside it and uh..." and honestly I can't remember the rest of the things I pulled out of my bum.
Seriously, props to teachers for doing what they do. Although I have never taught English, I tutored math to middle schoolers when I was in high school and introductory Spanish classes to student-athletes in college as a side job. In college, I taught several student-athletes at a time so it felt like a mini classroom, and I was their teacher. So after every tutoring session I had the following four things pop up in my mind about teachers:
1. Does the teacher never have to go to the bathroom? I swear, I go all the time when I'm in class, but the teacher never does. When I tutored, I would just make the students do an activity and tell them I have to get something at the front desk for a quick piss. What if they really had to go... like #2 go?
2. Do teachers really believe that no question is stupid? I honestly think it's something they say just to encourage students to participate, but let's be real, we've all been in a class where someone has asked one, or maybe you were that person in which case don't worry because we've all done it before-- I once asked if Chicago was a state. Which reminds me...in my 8th grade religion class (wow I feel old) we were talking about chastity and a student raised his hand and asked, "Oh wait so is that why she's called the Virgin Mary?" Eh, I guess that's something you never really actually think about so maybe that one is not so stupid. We can just call him...slow. But I did have one football student ask me once, "So... like the word once in English is eleven in Spanish, but you just say it differently?!" "Yes you can think about it like that Demarques (for the sake of the person I have changed his name)." "Woah...that's weird."
3. How do teachers hold it together all [most] of the time? I have to stand in front of students and listen to them repeat phrases like "¿Cómo estás?" in the most American accent you can think possible--I have to stand in front of students and get through a lesson while one guy in the back is dozing off (we've all been that kid-- you honestly can't control it) and one guy is drawing pictures in his notebook (now you're probably thinking how bad of a tutor I must be if students are doing things like this and getting away with it). I had to listen to one student argue with another student that France was in England, and just for giggles, I didn't step in to correct him just to see where this argument would go ( I know, I'm horrible). In all of these situations I've cracked a smile... at the very least, and most times I have to turn around real quick to get a laugh in (again, I know, I'm horrible). It is hard, it really is.
4. What if a teacher doesn't know the answer to a question a student asks? This is probably what I'm most afraid of. I'm the teacher--I should know everything and anything asked of me, right? Should I make something up if I don't? I mean, they don't know American culture so I could probably get away with anything I said. I once gave a presentation with a friend my junior year of high school and was freaking out: "It's okay, if they ask you a question, just ask one back or say 'What do you think the answer is?' and see if they can answer it themselves and just go off of that." I very much dislike students who actually listen to your presentation and have questions--I have almost always used presentation days to daydream--I know it's over once everyone starts clapping and for my own sake of looking like I was paying attention, I'll join in. But the worst is when you give a presentation and the professor raises their hand and asks you a question-- my mind goes blank every time, and all I can think is, "Man, I don't know jack ish"
Well I guess in summary, all I can do for my very first day is walk right in that classroom, hope that no student dares ask me a question and pray to the Lord, as horrible as this sounds, that I can hold in my laughter AND my pee. So...here's to tomorrow and finding out the real deal with this "edad de pavo."
Yours truly,
TLT
Seriously, props to teachers for doing what they do. Although I have never taught English, I tutored math to middle schoolers when I was in high school and introductory Spanish classes to student-athletes in college as a side job. In college, I taught several student-athletes at a time so it felt like a mini classroom, and I was their teacher. So after every tutoring session I had the following four things pop up in my mind about teachers:
1. Does the teacher never have to go to the bathroom? I swear, I go all the time when I'm in class, but the teacher never does. When I tutored, I would just make the students do an activity and tell them I have to get something at the front desk for a quick piss. What if they really had to go... like #2 go?
2. Do teachers really believe that no question is stupid? I honestly think it's something they say just to encourage students to participate, but let's be real, we've all been in a class where someone has asked one, or maybe you were that person in which case don't worry because we've all done it before-- I once asked if Chicago was a state. Which reminds me...in my 8th grade religion class (wow I feel old) we were talking about chastity and a student raised his hand and asked, "Oh wait so is that why she's called the Virgin Mary?" Eh, I guess that's something you never really actually think about so maybe that one is not so stupid. We can just call him...slow. But I did have one football student ask me once, "So... like the word once in English is eleven in Spanish, but you just say it differently?!" "Yes you can think about it like that Demarques (for the sake of the person I have changed his name)." "Woah...that's weird."
3. How do teachers hold it together all [most] of the time? I have to stand in front of students and listen to them repeat phrases like "¿Cómo estás?" in the most American accent you can think possible--I have to stand in front of students and get through a lesson while one guy in the back is dozing off (we've all been that kid-- you honestly can't control it) and one guy is drawing pictures in his notebook (now you're probably thinking how bad of a tutor I must be if students are doing things like this and getting away with it). I had to listen to one student argue with another student that France was in England, and just for giggles, I didn't step in to correct him just to see where this argument would go ( I know, I'm horrible). In all of these situations I've cracked a smile... at the very least, and most times I have to turn around real quick to get a laugh in (again, I know, I'm horrible). It is hard, it really is.
4. What if a teacher doesn't know the answer to a question a student asks? This is probably what I'm most afraid of. I'm the teacher--I should know everything and anything asked of me, right? Should I make something up if I don't? I mean, they don't know American culture so I could probably get away with anything I said. I once gave a presentation with a friend my junior year of high school and was freaking out: "It's okay, if they ask you a question, just ask one back or say 'What do you think the answer is?' and see if they can answer it themselves and just go off of that." I very much dislike students who actually listen to your presentation and have questions--I have almost always used presentation days to daydream--I know it's over once everyone starts clapping and for my own sake of looking like I was paying attention, I'll join in. But the worst is when you give a presentation and the professor raises their hand and asks you a question-- my mind goes blank every time, and all I can think is, "Man, I don't know jack ish"
Well I guess in summary, all I can do for my very first day is walk right in that classroom, hope that no student dares ask me a question and pray to the Lord, as horrible as this sounds, that I can hold in my laughter AND my pee. So...here's to tomorrow and finding out the real deal with this "edad de pavo."
Yours truly,
TLT